Funny poems
Some writers are naturally humorous. Some like to get a little silly. Here are some poems that might prompt grins.
Ain’t Facebook Tweet?By Dottie Rockel
At 6 AM EST,
I got up ASAP,
Watched CNN on my TV.
That’s LED, HD, 3D.
A PSA on UNICEF.
Someone said, “TGIF.”
News of UN, NOW, and NATO.
ERA of Johnny Cueto.
Value of my IRA,
Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae.
China and our IOU,
The GOP, SEIU.
Movie news from RKO.
R2D2, C3PO.
Got into my SUV,
Headed to the BMV.
Got RX for my URI
At CVS. Is that TMI?
I popped in my new CD,
Stopped for lunch at KFC.
Had a flat, called AAA,
The ATM, then IGA.
Next BP then home again.
I ate. It’s late. TTFN.
~~~~~~~~~
Loose Tooth
By Kathy Coogan
It’s the truth.
Ben had a loose tooth.
He kept on wiggling it
But it stayed connected.
Then Mommy stepped in
And before Ben expected it
The tooth came out and
Everyone inspected it.
Now Ben has a space
To wiggle his tongue in
And the Tooth Fairy has
A reason to come in.
I know it sounds silly
Some may say funny
But she’ll trade that old tooth
For some lost-tooth money.
I promise it’s true
Oh yes she will, Oh
She’ll sneak a dollar under his pillow.
So what happens to teeth?
Now you know.
One tooth down
And twenty-something to go.
~~~~~~~~~
The Pleasures of Camping
By Mo Conlan
Oh, it’s wonderful fun to go camping
O’er hills and dales with chums tramping.
The rocky cliffs and breathtaking vistas,
The breeze through the trees to ya (whispahs).
The undeniable joy of lugging pots,
Pans, stew, bread, jam, coffee and tugging
Those miracle tents into human cocoons,
Sleeping side-by-side in them cozy as spoons.
Oh, it’s wonderful fun to be sitting with friends
Under great sky like a sea full of stars ‘cross
The Great Milky Way –
To put down mats and lay by the fire
Until drowsed into slumber – (perhaps laterTo be roused by thunder).
There are pitfalls to camping, it’s true,
A snake, ants, a spider or two;
Learn to pee (downhill) clutching a tree.
Don’t sit too close to the edge of Rocky Point
Or you’ll be history, your limbs all disjoint.
And what was that rat-a-tat at your tent?
A present of rain Mother Nature has sent.
Quick, save from the wet what you can
(though still foggy) then learn to smile
Wearing clothes that are soggy.
And what were those other sounds?
Something like pops that pierced
through the night. Surely gunshots?
So you hunker down close to your tent mate
And pray you live to camp another day.
Oh, it’s wonderful fun to go camping
O’er hills and dales with chums tramping.
Tell jokes and laugh, eat stew by the fire,
In degree of enjoyment, nothing higher.
~~~~~~~~~
The Web's Apostrophobia
by Kathy Coogan
Where in the Web is the apostrophe?
We looked and looked and couldn’t see
Though we needed one for accuracy.
But were told with alarming frequency,
“Sorry, folks, symbols cannot be
Used in a site name efficiently.”
“But,” (we argued fruitlessly)
“As writers we need the apostrophe
To show we punctuate properly,
As taught long ago by Sister Marie.”
“Not my problem,” Web said with glee,
“We enforce our rules here ruthlessly.”
So here we bestow our apology
While blaming the Web defiantly.
We tried to punctuate responsibly
As the proud punctuators we claim to be.
But symbols are treated disrespectfully
Especially our Writers' wee apostrophe.
~~~~~~~~~
Haiku-achoo
by Mo Conlan
My mind is balky.
I need to do some haiku –
Break words down to bits.
~
Haiku is just right
When don’t really want to write -
Calming to the brain.
~
I’m a stick-el-er
About the syll-la-bage-ing –
Five, seven, five – no more.
~
The problem being
What this short is worth reading?
Try to say something.
~
Nature is a theme –
Aha, I’m on to something –
Cypress, ginkgo, birch.
~
That’s no good at all.
Though small, a poem should sing –
Weave together things.
~
It should be at least
In some way poetical;
Metaphorical.
~
If I could have just
One more syllable per line,
This baby could soar.
~
Some poets will fudge –
Expand or squeeze up a line.
Somehow, I just can’t. ~
I’m girded by form.
It wraps me in an embrace
Of words and tight space.
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